Thursday, April 5, 2012

WARNING LAST POST ON THIS BLOG EVER

HI, so I've been revamping my life lately so, I'm revamping my blogger.

I'm starting a brand spanking new blog.

I was going to name it something similar to this but I just changed my mind I think.

My new Blog's name will be "Whiskey and Lace"

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Beginnings, Endings, and the Juicy Bits

Sitting here in front of my laptop, has yielded nothing over the last few hours. I’ve facebook stalked my friends, I’ve played the mindless games, I’ve checked my email a hundred times. Nothing is firing behind my eye balls. I know I should be working on my homework or my next Grizzly article, but I am just like 90 percent of college students at 10:40pm on a Wednesday night. I am tired, and just don’t feel like doing work anymore.

I could always get more writing done for my novel, but I’m not moved, no inspiration has darkened my door since lunch. Up until two hours ago I had no motivation, no umph, no drive to do anything, just the gumption-less urge to write.

What changed this you ask? Well, tonight, Wednesday April 4th 2012 the last episode of One Tree Hill aired on the US east coast.

For those of you who don’t know what One Tree hill is or was I will tell you this, it was a show unafraid to go to the dark places, a show unafraid to yank reality out of the high school stereotypes, and one that taught its viewers it was safe to believe in themselves. It was a show willing to let the world be quite. It wasn’t bogged down by vampires and the supernatural. It was a show made by real people, telling a story that in retrospect was about us all. Basically, it was a show that changed lives, and I know that for a fact, it changed mine.

During my Radio show every Tuesday at 11 o'clock I often talk about TV shows, and there is a phrase I have noticed I use a lot. "I grew up with that..." a statement that typically for me comes across as a figure of speech. However, Mark Schwahn , the creator of One Tree Hill, and Bethany Joy Lenz, who played Haley James Scott on the show, shared some wonderful insights tonight. Ones that have made me realize, I did grow up with this show, and it has taught me so much. The story was fictional yes but the weight it carried and the lessons it taught will always be with me.

Lucas Scott, played by Chad Michael Murray, once said the words “Tree Hill is a place, and if you look close enough.. you may see someone, someone like you just trying to find their way” This statement is exactly why I felt it necessary for something to be said about One Tree Hill. I watched the finale and realized just how much it meant to me.

Lucas and Nathan Scott, Haley James, Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis may have just been characters in a TV show but they all went through high school with me. I didn’t realize it then, but now I know their presence has been with me every step of the way like a best friend, helping, guiding and reassuring me.

On the special that aired before the finale tonight Sophia Bush, who played Brooke Davis Said a few words that sent me leaping for a pen. She said “Its immense and its beautiful”. In context she was talking about the show and what it meant to her, but I believe she inadvertently defined the experience I had with it, and what I imagine many others had as well.

If you haven’t guess by now, I don’t think of One Tree Hill as a TV show. I think of it as my safe haven. When the show opens and that town, Tree Hill, paints itself across my television screen, or Hulu window depending upon the day, I’ve been transported somewhere safe, I’ve come home.

When the episode finished I sat for a moment taking in what it meant and what had just happened. It wasn’t long before I realized I had the urge to write. So I grabbed my laptop, created a playlist to listen to and here I am. Sitting on my bed, my computer on a lap desk, sitting Indian style with a half empty bottle of Powerade balanced on my leg, and a pen in my ear. I’m surrounded by my journal, a tattered copy of Romeo and Juliet, and my pillows finally able to do something, to write something.

So far I’ve simply stated that One Tree Hill taught me a lot, I haven’t said what yet. I was building up I guess.

The characters and their stories showed me that even though I may see Jocks, Nerds, Geeks, Loners, or the Cool kids when I look around, they may not be those things at all. Looking at someone doesn’t tell you their story, it barely shows you the cover page. Even the “Smart Girl” in high school can be guilty of judging people based on stereotypes, I admit it, but no matter how many people actually fit the group you put them in, a lot of them will not.

Peyton Sawyer was a cheerleader, and a rocker. She loved music; she loved black, and red. She wasn’t girlie, she wasn’t peppy. I knew people like her in high school. I’ve been friends with my very own Peyton Sawyer.

Brooke Davis was the sexually active cheerleader, the class president, the fashion designer, the person who seemed to have it all on the outside, but on the inside in private was totally different. She was living basically on her own, her parents didn’t have time for her, she was vulnerable, wanted love, wanted her family back and very few people got to know that.I knew Brooke Davis too. I walked the halls of my high school, no doubt feeling envious of her. Wishing I could be her, never knowing how hard her life really was.

At one point or another I myself even embodied these characters, and others from One Tree Hill, many times, yet none of their stories tell you my mine. Looking at me now, you probably wouldn’t know I tried out for the basketball team in middle school. You probably never would guess I’ve written out two whole novels now. No one can tell by looking at me that I’ve had my heart broken, no one can tell I’ve had loved ones die.

Just like no one can tell the same things about you. Maybe you haven’t done what I have but we all have a story to tell. We all have a story no matter how boring it may seem at times, there is one there, burning fiercely just below the surface.

I named my blog “You Can’t Measure Dreams” after a line off One Tree Hill, because you truly can’t measure them. So I have one message to you. Go out into your life, now that you’ve read this, and find what excites you. Take a new look at the people around you. Make sure you’re not taking a single thing for granted. Embrace the world, and think of a dream. Once you have that dream, hold on tight, with everything you’ve got and believe in it with all your heart.

No one is perfect, but we are all bound together in this beautiful world of imperfections.

by Chelsea Callahan

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Missing the past

I know i shouldn't dwell, and I need to move on, but when your single, don't party, and don't have much of a life you can't move on very quickly at all.


I just found my old account on Post The Love .com and I saw one of the posts i made about a small moment with my ex, and it's pulling hard on my heart strings.

I was leaving my dorm/house and found my ex doing laundry, and was struck by the sensation of "Oh My God he's so cute." I was so in love in that moment. I felt like i was in middle school, i was sooo giddy.

I want nothing more than to go back to that. I wish I could have that back. Love is fantastic.

Until tomorrow!

Black Dust

One of my favorite movies has the line "People are not their thoughts, they think they are and it brings them all kinds of sadness." I agree, your thoughts are completely reactionary, the firing of hormones and neural receptors based on the world around you. Your actions are just that. Actions. You are defined by what you do and how you do it in this world and It is time that we choose what that definition is for ourselves.

I have chosen to define myself as a writer, unfortunately that is causing some issues in my life right now. I've chosen writer but the world is harsh and demands a real career from me. Something that I'll make money on. But whose to say i wont make money on my books. Its a road however I don't have the luxury of trying without a back up plan.

SO, to deal with this My actions are coming into focus. I am a writer so i am writing, I'm writing my blog, obviously, and my novel. I am going to keep writing until i have nothing left to say. Yet, quite frankly I'm not sure that will ever happen. The thoughts I have may not be me but they do give me inspiration.

Inspiration is the best feeling in the world. Something so pure that i put a pen to paper or fingers to keys and it all flows out. I marvel sometimes at the speed in which words come to me, how a story forms with out me even really thinking long on what i want it to do. Have you ever had that?


I am completely enthrall to my own imagination and I hope that never changes.

Have a good day

Until later

The Vampire Diares

Awesome show. Love it. Its truly helpful for my book. I love the connections of everyone but it gets really confusing.

I love it, can't wait for the season to pick up again

I had a spoiler bit on here but I took it off because everyone should watch the show from the beginning if you can. Its great

Been working on the romance of my novel it's great help. I love this show. Check IT OUT!

Until tomorrow!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2012--- Ringing in the New Year, with a backward Glance

Happy New Year World. Its a fresh start.

I however have been thinking a lot today about where I was this time last year.

Warning I may rant about my ex, but there is a point to this so read it please. It may speak to your own problems.

Its been bugging me that last year this time, I was blissful. I had a new boyfriend, he was a hot guy, who actually liked me so I was beyond overjoyed. We were happy, cuddling, snuggling, dating, I even gushed about him several times on this very blog. Gushed about how much I loved him. HA...I feel really stupid looking at it now.


Now this year, I'm single. After a year of that bliss he broke it off with me. It hurts really bad to think about it but it hurts less everyday. I am home on winter break and finally getting a moment to breathe without him breathing down my neck, We have the exact same friends and I didn't want to make the choose between us so I've willingly submitted myself everyday to the torture of sitting at the same meal table with him. No one seems to understand why I do it anymore. And I quite frankly don't either anymore. Its easier without him. I don't have to see him while I'm home on break. I do still miss him everyday, he was my best friend. I wanted him in every part of my life. But when we hit our first major hiccup, and we both had to deal with some stressful things, it broke us. I don't exactly get why we couldn't work through it but I dare say I never will. How do you make sense of someone who love, breaking your heart?

This year however is a new beginning or at least I'm determined to make it one. I am not going to go to every meal with them anymore, I'll go to a few but I'm not going to torture myself. Three of us were meant to go on a trip together, me him and a friend and since things ended I didn't go though I wanted to very much, now they are on the trip with out me and it sucks, I'm not gonna sit through the gushing about their awesome time. I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of it.

I am ready to move on already, You don't fall out of love with someone until you fall in love with someone else I think.

The Good News is Ive reached the point where I'm changing things, I'm exercising more eating better, I bought new clothes, I am making myself happy instead of worrying about if others are happy or not. I'm paying attention to my wants and desires for once. I feel sexy and happy unlike I have before, yeah I have my bad days like today, where I miss the ex but I know now that my heart needed breaking. Not every frog I kiss will be a prince, and when princes to pop up it doesn't mean their mine. I just picked a dud frog this time who wore a nice costume.

I finished writing my first novel, and kind of hate it for the moment, I have someone with fresh eyes looking at it. So I because I didn't like it I stripped the idea to its barest bones, and tried to rewrite, but since my rewrite is soooo different I'm officially working on my second novel. one of these days I'll have both written, typed, edited and ready to throw at the Agent wall and hope at least one will stick. That was a convoluted spaghetti metaphor.


Books I've read recently....

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick-----LOVE IT
Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick------Frustrating Love IT
Silence by Becca Fitzpatrick---------LOVE IT

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare---------Really Good
Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare--------Excellent but not an ending I wanted
City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare-----Really GOOD, EXCELLENT

The Hunger Games by Susan Collins-----Really good, energized, exciting

Inkheart ---Kids story but actually really cool concept


Movies

*Immortals-- Henry Cavil is SO HOT! perfect movie to salivate at a hot guy, but actually pretty interesting story
*Girl With the Dragon Tattoo--Daniel Craig ---Disturbing at points but Great
*War Horse-- Good movie, nice story, you get really into it.
*Sherlock Holmes, the game of shadows-- Really Good, Really Funny
*New Years Eve-- Good, Like Valentines day
*My Week With Marylin--- Fantastic, I liked it alot
*Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows p 2--Great Action
*Breaking Dawn-- LOVED IT , the movie gets made in better quality every time.
*X-men first class-- Better than i expected
*Black Swan-- Creepy ! I literally was writhing in my seat



TV recently

Secret Circle--Awesome adaptation
Vampire Diaries-- Got back into this, It got really good
Whitney-- Hilarious I LOVE IT
Pretty Little Liars-- Good
Covert Affairs-- Good, Fun, interesting
Nikita-- Good, but lost track of the show
Supernatural--Hot Guys! Demon Hunting inspiration for my novel.
Castle-- FANTASTIC



So I hope your 2012 is great, I hope you can let go of the past like I am trying to and I hope you can find happiness like I am trying to do.

Until Tomorrow!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Time hath passed and yet it lasts

Hi, wow it's been awhile since I've posted but i wanted to post because i read something about blogging and I missed me Dream space. I've been trying to write as much as i possibly can but it's been tough, i've been working on my school papers ect. College is fun but papers kick my butt some times. but still i love it...I just started to work on my Huge Research Project for my Crusades class and I LOVE the topic. its answering the questions What power did religious relics provide to the successes in the Crusading movement and what evidence is there to show the power relics held in the religion in general? What kept the people devoted to these relics after they are stolen, and what drew them to these symbols? Are Relics symbols too? I'm having a lot of fun with it. Well I'll try and write again soon. HOpe you enjoy the poem. :)

Here is a poem i wrote a while ago.

A-17
--------
It’s a song,
it’s a boy,
it’s a story,
And a memory.

It was a cold October day
working the ticket stand.
The old movies of loves
to marvel at.
It was that night
at the bar,
that night dancing,
that night lying still
in your arms.
The song
was playing
on our heartstrings.
Melding us together
like melting.
A-17 is our soundtrack.

But how does the sound
carry to deft ears.
Some wont understand
that what makes my day
is you holding my hand.
We’ve fought tooth
and nail to stay locked
for years. But they
say we wont last
that we wont stay.
They are wrong...

A-17 embodies us.
It’s still there
at the same number
In the old diner jukebox
covered in dust.
Every year
we’ve come back
to the place where
we met.

We owe A-17
a wealthy debt. For our love
will last forever yet.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Writers way

Have you ever realized that your world isn't exactly what you want it to be? Have you ever realized you have been doing exactly what your best at? I love to write. i love to watch T.V. i love to immerse myself in fantasy. SO that's what I'm doing. I'll get a job where i can but for now I'm going to write. I want to be the female Richard Castle.

After all "The Pen is mightier than the sword."


I want to write fantasies that have a twinge of reality. I want to provide worlds for those out there like me who thirst for more than just life.

How often does this world provide a clear path? it doesn't maybe through writing I'll find my own. Is the world meant to be explained though? I'm not so sure it its. Mystery is so much more alluring.

Watching Castle. I love writing and this show is perfect for the TV,Comedy,Mystery, and a writer. he made a good point in the last episode

"Until tomorrow", is more poetic-ish, instead of saying "night" it gives more of a sense of hope.

So my readers

Until Tomorrow!